Welcome to Lobotomy Express — Kansas City’s preferred drive-thru for overthinkers, heartbreak cases, Sunday scaries, reply-all survivors, and anyone who opened the internet without adult supervision.
Pull forward to Window 2 for fake menu specials, vintage commercials, suspiciously cheerful brain science, merch from the lobby gift shop, and educational films hosted by our little brain guy.
Walk-ins welcome. Drive-thru available. Pets may ride along.
No appointment necessary. Just bring your anxiety, your loyalty card, and whatever is left of your attention span.
lobotomyexpress.com
Educational parody. No actual medical procedures.
